Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Haikus

One of my best friends, Holden, is soon to be wed. Upon recommendation from Emily post he has sent out a Facebook invite asking for addresses so that they mail me an actual paper invitation to his nuptuals. Being a relatively young (hold for sniggers to die down) Mormon, I get one of these invites about once a week.

Holden's invite was a little different, Holden has raised the stakes. In addition to asking for our address, he is holding a haiku contest. I have put off posting my address so that I might craft a brilliant haiku that will surely put all other haikus to shame. What follows are my drafting for haiku submissions.

* Destest when someone
Uses asterisks that goes
To no reference

DVR can hold
Great treasures or total junk
Tonight total junk

Diet takes hostage
If see hungry girl crying
Save with Twinkie STAT

Bed enfolds like womb
Pillows cup like mother's touch
Never want to leave

Gym is stealing soul
Not the soul, but will to live
Run, run, puke, run, die

Some like it hot, me
Stiffling, oppressive hot
Verge of sweating, best

Unicorn busts in
Hearts shoot from my niece's eyes
Best drawing on fridge

Snap camera goes
Shots of everything I do
No one can see all

Reads Amber Spyglass
A book written for children
Smarter than many adults

Audio books keep
Me company life's task
I am such a nerd.

I ended up submitting the first one, but feel free to let me know which you liked best, or write your own.

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