Day number three, and today I find myself actually looking forward to getting to post. I looked for tiny little things that could be made anecdotal, thought of titles I could post under, and generally wanted to write about the world according to me. Talk about being self-aware; despite how much I hate writers who write about writing or have main characters who are writers, still I pontificate on the act and art of writing. Hypocrite thy name is girl.
Today I got my first comment, which means someone is actually reading my post. True it was the only person I sent a figurative engraved invitation to read, but a reader none the less. I no longer have to worry about a tree falling in the forest.
Work could not have been more unpleasant today. We were down two nurses today, which means that three people did the work of five. In addition to our normal daily duties we also had to teach the lesson and monitor a procedure in the clinic. It was not any of these things, the fact we had to work through lunch, or the fact that the stress had my lower back feeling like a twisted rope that just totally demoralized my spirit and made me want to get up and walk out. After finishing my lunch at my desk, The Boss came over to my desk and berated me for a clinical decision I had made in front of the whole clinic. When I retorted that it was within my preview to make such a decision, she derisively informed me that yes it was my decision but that she did not think it was good nursing care. This is the woman who does my yearly review. In addition to the public humiliation, I now have the awkward pleasure of trying to decide who informed her. Level One Drama Center, indeed.
After work I joined Stix and Red for dinner. We meet at Whole Foods downtown and ate a hurried meal at the same table. Stix's sullen mood helped me gain insight into what she must be going through. My selfish need to mend our relationship must take a back seat for a few more weeks. Love is patient, love is kind, love is long-suffering. To love her, I must be all of those things for her. What surprised me the most from our dinner was to see the relationship that has developed between Stix and Red. I was touched at how Red is such a good friend to everyone. On the other hand it hurts to see the very thing I am begging for from Stix somehow blossomed between the two of them. Patient, kind, long-suffering...I should write that on my hand.
Last night's FHE was more special than I could have anticipated. In our week in review it came to our attention that APO's birthday was on Thursday. In his usual fashion, he seemed slightly mortified and slightly tickled at the recognition. The lesson started and as he stood up there and taught a thoughtful and uplifting lesson, my heart swelled to a near bursting point. I could not help but remember who he was just one year ago sitting at his sister's dinner table on his birthday, freshly home from the desert. How much has he grown in such a short span of time. From the shy and quiet at our first meeting in the temple waiting room to a fully fleshed and functional member of the church. Although our relationship has drastically changed in that span, I still feel lucky to have stood by to witness the mighty change of heart.
Friday night's festivities have caused a touch of anxiety in me. An idea of a lingerie shower where you wear lingerie sounds fun in theory. That is until you are trying on your outfit in the privacy of your bedroom and are overcome with embarrassment that you are to wear this not in an intimate setting, but to be ogled and judged by other guests. I, in no way, suffer from body image issues, but somehow feel at odds with the amount of skin showing. I show more when I am in a bathing suit, so why is this an issue? Perhaps it is my lack of garments that is making me feel so uneasy. When I made sacred covenants to wear the garment at all times except for certain occasions, did that include bridal showers? To not dress would mark me as a stick in the mud. I have a few more days to ponder it before I have to make a decision. Perhaps a solution will present its self.
As my post closes so does my day. Sleep calls, so that I may lay my head down and lift it to trudge through another day of work. Till tomorrow; I will keep my eyes and ears open for post worthy material.
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